20．2015年4月11日，南京溧水傅家邊山地半程馬拉松比賽（Nanjing Lishui Fujiabian Mountain Half-Marathon）在傅家邊隆重舉行．假如你是李華，請(qǐng)用英語(yǔ)給你的筆友Jim寫一封電子郵件，告訴他關(guān)于本屆半程馬拉松的相關(guān)情況和你對(duì)舉辦這樣比賽的看法．

要求：
1．郵件需包括所有提示內(nèi)容，可適當(dāng)發(fā)揮．
2．詞數(shù)：80字左右，信的開頭和結(jié)尾已給出，不計(jì)入總詞數(shù)．
3．文中不能出現(xiàn)真實(shí)的姓名和學(xué)校名稱．
Dear Jim，
I'm very glad to tell you something about Mountain Half-Marathon which was held in Fujiabian，Lishui．
You know health is becoming more and more important in our daily life．In order to encourage more people to take part in sports and keep the body healthy，our local government held this big event．And at the same time，it was a good chance to show the beauty of my hometown．Because it was mountain half-marathon，runners needed to finish about 21-kilometre-long race，and all the runners must be over 18 years old and healthy．During this event，there were lots of volu nteers．Some of them worked as doctors，some kept the event safe and others provided free drinks and food．With the help of all these people，the event had a big success．I hope more events like this can be held in the future．
Please come and visit my hometown．I will show you around my beautiful hometown．
Li Hua．

分析 這是一篇圖表作文．內(nèi)容是講述半程馬拉松比賽的目的；距離；運(yùn)動(dòng)員；志愿者；及作者的觀點(diǎn)．時(shí)態(tài)主要為一般過(guò)去時(shí)．人稱主要為第三人稱．
寫作思路：考生需要首先審清主題，圍繞主題展開作文．
其次考生可從以下幾個(gè)方面展開作文，即本文的寫作要點(diǎn)：
1比賽的目的：保持健康，展示溧水的美麗．
2距離：大約21km
3運(yùn)動(dòng)員：18歲以上，健康
4志愿者：工作者例如醫(yī)生，提供免費(fèi)飲料
5我的觀點(diǎn)
常用到的重點(diǎn)短語(yǔ)：
比較級(jí)+and+比較級(jí)  越來(lái)越…
in order to  為了…
take part in 參加
with the help of 在…的幫助下
【高分句型】
1．①In order to ②encourage more people to ③take part in sports and keep the body healthy，our local government held this big event．
①in order to  為了…做目的狀語(yǔ)．
②encourage sb to do sth 鼓勵(lì)某人去做某事
③take part in 參加
2．With the help of all these people，the event had a big success．
with the help of 在…的幫助下
3．I hope①more events ②like this③can be held in the future．
①hope后是省略了that的賓語(yǔ)從句．
②like this 做后置定語(yǔ)，修飾events．
③情態(tài)動(dòng)詞的被動(dòng)語(yǔ)態(tài)"情態(tài)動(dòng)詞+be+過(guò)去分詞

解答 Dear Jim，
I'm very glad to tell you something about Mountain Half-Marathon which was held in Fujiabian，Lishui．
You know health is becoming more and more important in our daily life．In order to encourage more people to take part in sports and keep the body healthy，our local government held this big event．【高分句型】And at the same time，it was a good chance to show the beauty of my hometown．（保持健康，展示溧水的美麗）Because it was mountain half-marathon，runners needed to finish about 21-kilometre-long race，（大約21km的路程）and all the runners must be over 18 years old and healthy．（18歲以上，健康）During this event，there were lots of volunteers．Some of them worked as doctors，some kept the event safe and others provided free drinks and food．With the help of all these people，the event had a big success．【高分句型】（志愿者：工作者例如醫(yī)生，提供免費(fèi)飲料）I hope more events like this can be held in the future．（我的觀點(diǎn)）【高分句型】
Please come and visit my hometown．I will show you around my beautiful hometown．
Li Hua

點(diǎn)評(píng) 這是一篇命題作文．本篇短文主要講述偶爾在南京溧水傅家邊山地舉行的半程馬拉松比賽，文中交代了比賽的目的；距離；運(yùn)動(dòng)員；志愿者；及作者的觀點(diǎn)．寫作時(shí)尤其注意主謂和時(shí)態(tài)的正確．可適當(dāng)使用一些連詞來(lái)增加文章的邏輯性，使文章更通順流暢．

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