2009年高考書面表達(dá)分析指導(dǎo)(三)
第三篇 寫初稿
要點(diǎn)列出后,就可以著手寫初稿了。寫作時(shí),應(yīng)考慮以下問題:
一、句子的正確性
1. 結(jié)構(gòu)不完整
我們學(xué)過簡(jiǎn)單句的六種基本類型:
1. S+V(主語+謂動(dòng));
2. S+V+P(主語+系動(dòng)詞+表語);
3.S+V+O(主語+謂動(dòng)+賓語);
4. S+V+Oi+Od(主語+謂動(dòng)+間接賓語+直接賓語);
5. S+V+O+Oc(主語+謂動(dòng)+賓語+賓補(bǔ));
6. There be句型。
結(jié)構(gòu)不完整是指句子的成分殘缺,不符合上述六種基本句型的要求。例如:
I’d like to friends with you. (缺少動(dòng)詞,friends前應(yīng)加be或make)
English is so interesting that I like very much. (like為及物動(dòng)詞,后缺少賓語,應(yīng)補(bǔ)上it)
He knocked the door quietly, so I didn’t hear. (knock為不及物動(dòng)詞,不能直接接賓語,需使用介詞at)
The teacher explained us the sentence. (explain 不能接雙賓語,“向某人解釋某事”為explain to sb. sth. 或 explain sth to sb.)
They supplied us some new computers. (supply不能接雙賓語,“為某人提供某物”為supply sb. with sth. 或 supply sth. to sb.)
2. 不合乎語法規(guī)則
正確的句子必須是合乎語法規(guī)范、無語法錯(cuò)誤的句子,既要合乎詞法,又要合乎句法。中學(xué)生常犯的詞法錯(cuò)誤有:名詞數(shù)、格的錯(cuò)誤;形容詞、副詞級(jí)別、詞序錯(cuò)誤;動(dòng)詞的時(shí)態(tài)、語態(tài)、語氣、非謂語動(dòng)詞錯(cuò)誤等。例如:
You can find a lot of informations on the Internet. (information為不可數(shù)名詞,沒有復(fù)數(shù)形式)
Which is the second longer river in China? (“第二長(zhǎng)的”應(yīng)使用最高級(jí),即the second longest)
He is enough tall to pick the apples on the tree. (enough修飾形容詞或副詞時(shí)應(yīng)后置)
How many satellites did China send up so far? (與so far連用應(yīng)使用完成時(shí))
My hometown grows cotton. (該句應(yīng)使用被動(dòng)語態(tài),改為:Cotton is grown in my hometown.)
To have no money with me, I didn’t buy anything. (不定式作狀語只能表示目的,或與only連用表示意外的結(jié)果。此處表示原因,應(yīng)使用現(xiàn)在分詞,改為:Having no money with me, …)
3. 不合乎邏輯
句子的正確性還包括其應(yīng)合乎邏輯,不能出現(xiàn)邏輯錯(cuò)誤。例如:
China is larger than any country in Asia.
上句顯然出現(xiàn)了邏輯錯(cuò)誤,因?yàn)橹袊?guó)也屬于亞洲國(guó)家之一,故應(yīng)在any后加other。又如:Seeing from the top of the tower, the city looks more beautiful.
seeing顯然不是the city的動(dòng)作,它們之間為被動(dòng)關(guān)系,故應(yīng)改為過去分詞seen。
文章的時(shí)態(tài)定位應(yīng)視情況而定,如日記、交通事故報(bào)告等,時(shí)態(tài)定位在過去范疇,多使用一般過去時(shí)、過去進(jìn)行時(shí)、過去將來時(shí)和過去完成時(shí)。若介紹日常情況,則定在現(xiàn)在范疇。若講述未來的活動(dòng)安排,則定位在將來。若是今昔對(duì)比,則涉及到過去和現(xiàn)在,就應(yīng)視情況輪換使用這兩種范疇的時(shí)態(tài)。
三、文章的段落或?qū)哟?/p>
一篇好的文章還應(yīng)有一定的層次感,寫作時(shí)可視情況適當(dāng)分段。例如:(2008年全國(guó)卷II參考范文)
June 8, 2008
Dear Peter,
I’m glad to receive your letter asking for my advice on how to learn Chinese well.
Here are a few suggestions. First, it is important to take a Chinese course, as you’ll be able to learn from the teacher and practice with your fellow students. Then, it also helps to watch TV and read books, newspapers and magazines in Chinese whenever possible.
Besides, it should be a good idea to learn and sing Chinese songs, because by doing so you’ll learn and remember Chinese words more easily. You can also make more Chinese friends. They will tell you a lot about China and help you learn Chinese.
Try and write me in Chinese next time.
Best wishes,
Li Hua
過渡性詞語好比我們組裝機(jī)械時(shí)使用的潤(rùn)滑劑,運(yùn)用得恰到好處可以起到潤(rùn)滑作用,從而使文章過渡自然、行文連貫;否則文章會(huì)顯得生硬蹩腳、干澀無味。例如:
I get up at six. I wash my face and teeth. I have breakfast at half past six. I go to school at seven. I get to school at about twenty to eight.
這段文字讀起來會(huì)讓人感到干澀、乏味,且易產(chǎn)生疲勞感。但若適當(dāng)添加一些過渡性詞語,給人的感覺就會(huì)完全不同。試比較:
I get up at six. Then I wash my face and teeth. After that, I have my breakfast. I go to school at seven and get there at about twenty to eight.
再如2000年書面表達(dá)范文,若去掉過渡性詞語,請(qǐng)同學(xué)們讀讀看是什么滋味。
四、注意使用過渡性詞語
1. 主題思想是否明確;
2. 觀點(diǎn)見解有否重復(fù);
3. 規(guī)定內(nèi)容或情景有否遺漏;
4.具體事例是否與主題相一致;
5. 陳述是否層次分明、條理清楚;
6. 過渡是否清楚自然;
7. 語句是否正確通順;
8. 字、詞、句是否重復(fù)太多或過于單調(diào);
9. 遣詞造句是否符合英語表達(dá)習(xí)慣,有否生搬硬套或“創(chuàng)造發(fā)明”;
10. 動(dòng)詞時(shí)態(tài)是否恰當(dāng)或保持一致;
11. 主謂是否一致;
12. 單詞拼寫、大小寫和標(biāo)點(diǎn)符號(hào)是否正確;
13. 詞數(shù)是否符合要求;
14. 字跡是否工整清楚。
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