Question

【寫作內容】
你叫Jack,由于父母到中國工作，暫時寄讀于某所中學。在學校食堂用餐一段時間后，你覺得有必要向學校食堂管理處反映一些問題，于是決定給管理處的黃先生寫封信，信中包括如下內容：
1.學校食堂的優(yōu)點：食堂干凈,飯菜可口,服務員總是衣著整潔、面帶微笑,服務態(tài)度好。
2.學校食堂的不足之處：價格偏高；等候時間較長,學生常常得等候近30分鐘才能買到飯菜。
3.建議：盡快解決上述問題；希望及時加熱飯菜，特別是在冬天時，這樣才能確保學生健康。
【寫作要求】
用五句話表達上表的全部內容，并組成一篇連貫的短文。（信的開頭已經(jīng)給出，不計入句數(shù)）
【評分標準】句子結構準確，信息內容完整，篇章結構連貫。
Mar.26th, 2012源:Zxxk.Com]
Dear Mr. Huang,
I’m Jack, a student in Class 2, Senior 3. I’m writing to tell you my opinions and expectation of the school canteen.  
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Thanks for your consideration.
Sincerely yours,
Jack

Answer 1

Dear Mr.Huang,
I’m Jack, a student in Class 2, Senior 3. I’m writing to tell you my opinions and expectation of the school canteen.    
In general, we are satisfied with the clean and tidy dining hall, its delicious food and the good service from the smiling waiters who are always neatly dressed. However, what is not to our satisfaction is that the price of the meal is a little too high and that we can only have a limited variety of dishes to choose from. In addition, students often have to wait in line for about 30 minutes before getting their food. We would greatly appreciate it if the problems mentioned above can be solved as soon as possible. Finally, I would like to suggest to you that the food should be heated in time to ensure the students’ health, especially in winter.
Thanks for your consideration.
Sincerely yours,
Jack

解析試題分析：題目要求就學校食堂的狀況，給食堂管理處寫一封信。信的要點已經(jīng)給出，主要說明優(yōu)缺點并提出建議。注意寫作要求：用五句話表達所給要點，寫作時注意語篇的連貫性。
【亮點說明】范文注意使用In general, However, In addition, Finally等短語銜接句子和段落，做到了連貫通順；
范文使用了較多的短語a variety of, choose from, wait in line, as soon as possible, would like to, in time等，基礎知識掌握得比較扎實；范文還用到了許多語法知識，像固定句型are satisfied with, 定語從句who are always neatly dressed, 主語從句what is not to our satisfaction, 表語從句that the price of the meal is..., 固定句型would appreciate it if..., 虛擬語氣suggest that the food should be等，體現(xiàn)了靈活駕馭語法知識的能力；范文還注意使用especially來加強語氣。
考點：材料作文