Question

進(jìn)入初三后，你的朋友Larry變化很大，昨天班會(huì)課老師表揚(yáng)了他。你為他感到高興，一高興你就想寫點(diǎn)什么，于是就寫了一篇關(guān)于他變化的文章以之鼓勵(lì)。

Larry	過去	現(xiàn)在
個(gè)性	內(nèi)向，朋友少，偶感孤獨(dú)	外向，友好，朋友多
作業(yè)	沒有完成，抄別人的	在朋友的幫助下，能完成
行規(guī)	上課吃東西，聽音樂,這是不允許的	遵守班規(guī),上課認(rèn)真，進(jìn)步大，老師喜歡
理想	籃球運(yùn)動(dòng)員，父母反對(duì)，打球妨礙學(xué)習(xí)	英語好，想當(dāng)英語教師，
…	…	…

提示：used to do sth (used to be…)   feel lonely          copy others’ homework 
obey the class rules  with the help of     make progress  be allowed to do… 
注意：1．所寫內(nèi)容必須包括表格中的信息
2．表格中的… 必須你自己拓展。
3．詞數(shù)：100個(gè)左右。要求意思連貫，語句通順
4．文中不得出現(xiàn)真實(shí)的人名與校名
 My friend Larry has changed a lot.                                                                
                                                                             
                                                                             
                                                                                   
                                                                             
                                                                            
                                                                            

Answer 1

My friend Larry has changed a lot. He used to be introverted. He had few friends so he used to feel lonely sometimes. And his study was also poor. He couldn’t finish his homework by himself, so he copied others. In class he didn’t obey the class rules. For example, he used to listen to music in class, which was not allowed. He wanted to be a basketball player, but his parents were against of it because they thought it might impair learning.
Fortunately, all these have changed. Now he is more outgoing and friendly. He has more friends too. With the help of friends he can finish the homework by himself now. To the teachers’ surprise, he makes great progress in study because of his hard working. Besides, he is good at English now so he wants to be a English teacher in the future.
I am so proud of the great changes that he has made. I hope he can make greater progress from now.

試題分析：這是一篇材料作文。材料中已經(jīng)給出了具體的信息，寫作時(shí)要把這些要點(diǎn)用正確的句子表達(dá)清楚，注意句子之間的邏輯關(guān)系，適當(dāng)?shù)氖褂眠B詞。由于材料中涉及到過去和現(xiàn)在兩種情況，所以表述時(shí)尤其注意時(shí)態(tài)和動(dòng)詞的變化。
【亮點(diǎn)分析】
這篇作文緊扣材料，內(nèi)容充實(shí)，表達(dá)清晰流暢。文中使用了很多連詞，加強(qiáng)了句子的邏輯關(guān)系，例如and， so， for example， but， because，等等。文中也有些復(fù)雜的長(zhǎng)句，如：For example, he used to listen to music in class, which was not allowed.例如，他過去常在課堂上聽音樂，這是不允許的。Which引導(dǎo)了一個(gè)非限制性定語從句。To the teachers’ surprise, he makes great progress in study because of his hard working.令老師驚喜的是，由于他的努力學(xué)習(xí)，他取得了很大進(jìn)步。To one’s surprise令某人驚訝的是， make progress取得進(jìn)步；because of因?yàn)椤?/div>